Dressing Turducken

On the 32nd anniversary of the premier of my highly prized birthday suit, I would like to talk about clothes. I am in favor of them. This is not a editorial debating if a grown man that wears capris and flip-flops is he a real guy. That is a short debate: No. Next question. This is about a daily struggle for me. Getting dressed is not easy. The very act is not a big task but getting the right colors to go with the right thing sucks. I have an uncle that I have heard has a monochromatic collection of Dickies clothes. Genius. Pure time saving genius. But if you do that and skip a few haircut appointments, suddenly you are the talk of the watercooler and on a watchlist. But here is the deal, I like cargo shorts and t-shirts. That is about it. Beige shorts and gray shirts. If you need much else to make you happy, you obviously can swing from both sides of the plate. Congrats on that by the way. Neat talent.

Here is another angle: I don't care to parade around in my birthday suit either. Showers and one other thing and that is it for my acceptability level. I am covered very quickly after a shower and that's the way that I roll, without the dribble. I have a very low comfort level with that stuff. Weird I am sure for some. I have seen grown dudes in the locker room walking around in baggy buff, standing in the open and talking to fellas. They walk over to the sinks, hitch up to the countertops and start working on their hair or vigorously brush their teeth. And they don't stand up straight to spit out the toothpaste. I wanna fricken scream.

I know of a few people more concerned with their clothes than about other important things in life and it is sad and troubling.

Someone brought up turducken yesterday at work. I had to remind myself on the logistics of how that dish was accomplished. The concept is not new although it has risen and fallen for about 200 years. The stuffing of one bird with another bird has been around awhile. Here is my take: it is kinda sad to think of the origins of this. Here is what I think happened. Obviously there was this duck and he was a bit curious. Maybe it was a dare, maybe he lost a bet, maybe a duck-gang initiation, maybe a frat house prank, maybe it is not my business. But somebirdy got caught doing something funky. Maybe there was some bird shenanigans going on and maybe they either all fell in a fire pit or maybe some hunter with a shotgun crashed on helluva party at the Feathered Friends Bar and Flight Club. All I am saying that something went wrong and ultimate the turkey got caught in a bad situation that his lawyer could not make go away and Better Homes and Gardens got a hold of the story and made a mockery and a nice dish out of it. But what a bad deal for the birds. Embarrassing for them.

I don't know where to go after that. Oh, now I do....I would like to see a GibPelobama. That's a Obama stuffed in a Pelosi stuffed in a Gibbs. Those jokers have really made some real neat moves this past week if you are into the "fundamental transformation of America." Obummer's words. They are doing it alright. Its actually good to see a few more media types questioning what is going on but most of those reporters sleep between Barry and Michelle in their bed. I do not understand the acceptance of known, admitted, documented socialist in the White House and serving in the President's Cabinet. Redistribution of wealth and rationing of healthcare has actually been quoted from these losers on CAMERA and they deny that it exists!! And yet I can find out more about Lohan's trainwreck easier than I can about the real intentions of the Regime. Got to love PMS-NBC.

Night-night. JB

Boy Disaster

The ManChild has a large chip on his shoulder. Several in fact. He shed one of those off today. The HumanDisaster dismissed his top general because of some comments reported in a magazine not entirely known for its unbiased coverage of political and wartime issues. The Boy has very thin skin and zero character. He has far more disastrous plans to destroy liberty as we know it than he will ever lead on.

I think that McChrystal had some difference of opinion with the Boob and this was an easier-justified time to dismiss. Patreus, although highly criticized by the left when Bush was in office, is more inline with Obummer and is now the top dog in Afghanistan. Weird how that works.

I make no apologies and leave nothing to the imagination: I think that history will prove that Obama was handpicked 30 years ago, shown a privileged route to the White House, has zero leadership skills, hates private business, only sees greed in private sector and refuses to look at government's greed, is a part of a larger movement in the world and America to empower known terrorists, socialists, and communists, and will be known as the worst president in the history of the Republic. That is my opinion. There is facts to back my opinion that scare the hell out of me. The guy was quoted saying that he sees the United States Constitution as a barrier to what he wants to do with this country. Now for me, that is a disqualifier but to media idiots, that was a nonissue for some.

Far too many soldiers have died beginning with the Revolutionary War defending freedom because of guys like this joker in the White House right now. Others don't agree with me, but you cannot fricken tell me that Obama, Reid, Pelosi, Napalitano, Emmanuel, Gibbs, and the other clowns, are what our Founders had in mind. Listen to these current losers talk sometime and compare that to Washington, Adams, Jefferson, Locke, Madison and Paine. Read The 5000 Year Leap. Take the comments and actions of the Disaster a few more steps along and you will not recognize the country our your grandparents. Unregretful domestic terrorists, population-control advocates, socialists...this bunch right now has documented ties with them all. Super.

Now you have the Feds willing to lend taxpayer dollars to help illegals defend themselves against Arizona laws. Why? Come on....come on...you will get there.....votes. That's why. Votes. If Dems are seen as the party of getting illegals more rights, they have just surpassed ACORN's efforts and now have the largest Get Out the Vote campaign ever.

I have a lot more to say about the Disaster but I'll move on. Let me end with this: Time, and hope that there is still enough left, will undoubtedly prove that this President is tied so tightly to mobs, union thuggery, terrorists, socialism, and danger. The more people learn about the founding principals of our country and the root intent seldom discussed anymore, them more they agree with conservatism and become concerned with current non-leaders. 200-plus years of genius are being wiped out because of a few criminals and millions of absolutely brain-dead, unappreciative, entitlement minded, brainwashed, academia biased losers. Surely there is another country we can deport them to. It is sad when even other countries are on record trying to warn America of the path that we are on. They have tried what we are moving towards and they have failed. Do you think that other countries want the US to bankrupt? Some do. Those that depend on millions and billions of US dollars for aid every year do not.

I'll stop.. I think. For now.

And another thing...

Another storm is about to whiz on the Metro here in a few minutes. The radar has been on a 23 hour continuous loop and dumping on flood-endangered and flood-stricken areas for several days now. One fella was doing his job on a bridge inspection when the whole damn thing collapsed and they found him a few days later trapped in the wreckage. Sad fate for him and his family. Floods are freaky. I had not been a part of a major flood and can do without the experience. We had a sump pit swell in 2007 in my basement that led to a basement your could float a toy boat in but that hardly qualifies to what others have been through.

Summers are different now. A few years after you graduate from the last continuous year of school that you completed, it finally hits you: summer months are still work months, only hotter. Now we have some plans to make it a good summer but you live the glory years of summer through your kid(s). Our wee one has more crap to look forward to than a fasting dung beetle. She has already had several things going on with more to come. She has planned events and mostly just time with other family members. Shannon has done a fantastic job of putting things together and making sure that everyday is covered with something and by someone. It is a good thing and I am thankful.

Man, it's not like it used to be....

I had a full-time-plus working Dad in the summers and I had freedom. I had a wood-burning kit that featured an appliance to plug into an outlet capable of 400 degree temperatures to turn little planks of cedar into useless crafts, a 12-speed bike with unlimited miles, You Can't Do That On Television and Mr. Wizard on Nickelodeon when they had actual watchable content, an entire pan of Hamburger Helper and a Snickers bar and a huge garden to water a few times a day when McCook made its annual trip to within 10 miles of the surface of the sun. That was summer. I was either lying upside down in an old recliner in the air conditioning or poppin wheelies in the streets. It was a different time and place I realize but that was summer for a lot of kids during my time and several before my time.

Sophomore Post

2nd post and it will have to be short and sweet, kinda like my wife. I was thinking on my way home about what I was actually going to blog about, not just today but what the purpose of this was. I have read other blogs about someone's life adventure, their struggles, their activities, and political wits. Mine will have to be a work in progress. One thing that I am sure of is that it will be a different side of me than what some may know. The B side you might say. It will not be rated E for Everyone...naw, somewhere between PG (Pretty Good) and WTF. There will be some swearing becuase even my Grandmother and I had a conversation about how sometimes Golly Darn just doesn't cut it. Yep, if it came from grandma then it is not only gospel but you can take it to the church bazzar and buy a potholder with it. It's that solid.
One topic that did come into my brain today is lying. I am pretty sure that someone lied to me at work today and it is bugging me. I used to lie. Quite a bit. When I was a kid, my mom knew it too. I don't think that she picked up on all of them but she knew most of them. I maintained my ametuer status for the most part. She would talk to me about it but would usually let me get by with crap. Probably too much so. She would let things fester like a boil in July and then teach a lesson. My wife uses a different approach. Each of these can be effective but she is about as forgiving as eating a flaming hot marshmellow right of the metal skewer. She pounces that quick and pricks that boil, or boils that prick, or however the saying goes. So, by each of their teachings, I have decided to give up the practice and follow the Truth.
One more thing, I had a funny, you-gotta-be-sh!tten-me moment this morning on my drive into work. I was driving through 6 inches of water on the street, had the wipers bouncing like Dolly Parton on hopscotch, and still had trouble seeing the end of my hood and guess what Idiot light pops up on my dashboard?? Washer Fluid Low. Not my fricken concern right now, Silvia. (that's the femine name I just gave to my Silverado) Unless the blue sh!t can dry up the win'ders, I don't care. The message just kept flashing at me like I was supposed to hang some beads around the steering column just to make it shut off. So, I have seen the forecast and there is still rain coming so, I'll do what any cheap-skate would do....steal some black tape and put it over the Idiot light.
I'll try harder next time.

This is only a test

This is a test and only test of the inner workings of me. If this were an actual sensical post, it would be followed by crap that makes sense. I have too many randoms thoughts in my head that they are giving me acne and I need to get them out. So this is more about me than you. Please tune in soon because this is going to be good. I will be typing about observations, politcal rants, comical questions and the occasional smoothie recipe.